There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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