I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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