I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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