you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
