i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize