it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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