Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize