What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize