Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
