Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You pole danced in your parka.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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