TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
honey bunches of taint.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
