Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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