so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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