**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
