it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
