Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
