How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
