At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He better not be in your backpack
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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