i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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