WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
