I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
