Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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