if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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