i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
