how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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