I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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