Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
