Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
