how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
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Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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