I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize