Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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