im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
