I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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