She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
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My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
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It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night