Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
This girl is more easily done than said...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.