I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together