Goodnight sugar queer
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?