i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet