shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
