My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
