It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
