I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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