Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
