Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
