i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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