My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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