So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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