The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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