There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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