my mouth tastes like poor choices
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
