i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
