maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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