she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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