She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn star boner night. come get it.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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