just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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