I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
