There is no way he is gay with that hair.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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