We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I am puke
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize
