I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
