Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize