I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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