before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
i think i just lost a toe
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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