May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
