I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
