she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
