You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
